Sunday, August 7, 2011

Tales From The Meh Side: 2nd Edition

Hi guys! As some of you know, last June I posted a bunch of quotes that didn't make us all want to secede from parts of the country. They were Freeper quotes about the Food Network channel, and they showed a humanizing side of the Free Republic crowd.

Since a lot of recent news has been really bringing out the worst in our Freeper friends, I decided to do another humanizing post, this one about recipes.


Jalapeno Squash

4 c sliced yellow crook or zucchini
1 med onion, sliced thin
1 can cream of mushroom soup
salt and pepper, to taste

8 oz pepper jack cheese, sliced (use more if desired)
2/3 cup dry bread crumbs

Heat oven to 350. Mix squash, onion, soup, salt, and pepper. Place in sprayed 13x9 baking dish. Top with cheese, then crumbs. Bake 30 to 40 minutes, or until desired doneness. Let sit 10 minutes before serving.


Spicy Asian Beef or Chicken Salad

Torn leaf lettuce
sliced red onion
sliced radish
diced serrano pepper
Chopped tomato
Top with sliced roast beef cut into strips (I use the sandwich meat stuff at the grocery)
Or Roasted chicken (from the grocery deli) stripped off the bone and shredded.
Garnish with cilantro
And dressed with a dressing made of 3/4 Italian dressing Mixed with 1/4 Sriracha sauce.



CORNED BEEF HASH IN BELL PEPPERS Brown 3 med potatoes, lge onion in olive oil. Add 3 chp tomatoes, can corned beef, s/p, bit warm water. Simmer 20 min. PEPPERS Parboil tender/limp, trimmed whole bell peppers, salted water; drain. FINAL Fill peppers w/ corned beef. Bake 350 deg 20 min. Five min before done, drop raw egg on top, add black pepper, 1-2 tbl heavy cream. Bake egg set.

--- LOL, Sorry, couldn't resist.


Onion wine soup
Simmer 30 min 4 tbl melted butter, 5 lge chopped onions, 5 cups beef broth, 1/2 cup celery leaves, sliced potato. Blender-puree. Return to pan; blend in cup dry white wine, tbl vinegar, 2 tsp sugar. Simmer 5 min. Stir in cup light cream, s/p. Heat thoroughly but do not boil. Serve hot sprinkled w/ tbl minced parsley


Here’s a scrumptious authentic Monte Cristo

CURRANT JELLY SAUCE: Blender smooth 2/3 c currant jelly, tbl ea water, half ‘n half. Chill.

COMPOTE Combine your favorite fresh and canned fruits; chill well. Serve 1/2 cup per person.

BATTER Elec/mixer on low 2/3 cup water, small egg, 1/2 tea salt, 1/8 tea white/pepper, yellow food color. Add 2/3 cup flour,1 3/4 tea baking/powder; mix smooth. Chill. Covers 4 sandwiches.

SANDWICHES Make 4 sandwiches, layering oz each ham, Swiss, turkey slices. Cut into fourths; secure each quarter w/ toothpick.

FINAL Heat about 6” veg oil to 340 deg in deep fryer. Blanket sandwiches with Batter. Deep-fry golden, turn as needed. Remove to plate, take out picks, sprinkle w/ confectioners sugar while still hot.

SERVE with Fruit Compote and Currant Jelly Sauce alongside.


yummy on cheeseburgers or in a grilled cheese sandwich.

Bacon Jam

1 lb good-quality bacon
1 small onion, finely chopped
3-4 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup coffee, cola or beer
1/4 cup maple syrup or honey

Roughly chop the bacon and cook it in a heavy pot; transfer to a bowl using a slotted spoon, draining off most of the drippings. Saute the onion and garlic cloves in the rest for 5 minutes, until soft and starting to turn golden.

Return the bacon to the pan, add the brown sugar, coffee and maple syrup and cook over medium heat for half an hour, or until deep golden and thickened to the consistency of jam.

If you like, cool and pulse in the food processor for a finer texture. Serve warm or cold. Keeps in a sealed container in the fridge for a week or two, if it lasts that long.


Strawberry Soup

1 1/2 cups strawberries, diced
1 TBSP lemon juice, fresh squeezed!
2 TBSP lemon zest, fresh
2 eggs, beaten
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 quart buttermilk
strawberry ice cream

In large bowl, sprinkle strawberries with sugar, lemon juice and lemon zest. Add eggs, vanilla and buttermilk.

Pour mixture into the bowl of a 9-cup food processor. Add 1/2 cup ice cream and blend until liquid has become frothy, approximately 1-2 minutes. If you do not have a 9-cup processor, blend the soup in equal batches in smaller processor.

Transfer soup into large pitcher, cover and chill for a minimum of 4 hours.

Serve soup in tall thin beer glasses or champagne glasses and garnish with a small spoonful of strawberry ice cream, or perhaps mint and/or additional lemon zest if desired.

Note: you can use whole milk here if no buttermilk is available. Suggest compensating by adding a bit more ice cream. Buttermilk IS best for this.

Note: I prefer just 2 tsp of vanilla to a whole tablespoon.




* 1.2-1.5 lbs of fresh salmon filets
* 1 large chunk of fresh ginger (enough to cover the top of the salmon when shredded)
* honey
* Bottled Tamari or soy sauce

TIP: When buying salmon fillets, always buy from the tail up (virtually boneless that way). Have the fish guy remove the skin, which completely eliminates the disagreeable “fishy” smell produced by cooking with the skin on.

Peel the ginger and shred it into a bowl. Save the stringy remnants that don’t shred.

Pour a mix of honey and tamari sauce (to taste) into a pyrex baking dish and smear it around to cover the bottom of the dish. Pick up a handful of ginger shreds and squeeze the juices out into the mixture. Mix it in (use your hand).

Press each side of the salmon into the mixture to get it well coated. Then place it skin-side down on the dish.

Pour a little additional honey/tamari sauce onto to the salmon.

Spread the shredded ginger all over the salmon, enough to pretty much cover it. Place any leftover stringy ginger clumps around the side of the filet, but not on it.

Bake at 375 degrees for about 10 minutes, until ready.

Serves 2, but makes great next-day leftovers if you use more salmon.

Suggested side dishes:

Steamed asparagus, sprinkled with toasted sesame seeds.

Brown rice mixed with sauteed chopped scallions and mushrooms. Chopped red peppers are a nice touch also. Use canola oil or peanut oil to saute.


This makes a lot of sausage, but it can be frozen and used later.....

Italian Fennel Sausage

10-lbs ground pork
4-tbsp salt
2-tbsp paprika
2-tbsp garlic powder
3-tbsp fennel seed
2-tbsp anise seed
1-tsp white pepper
1-tsp black pepper
1-tsp chili peppers flakes
1/2-cup cold water

Combine all ingredients, mix well & stuff into hog casing.


Found another of my grandmother’s recipe boxes in some old boxes. Here is her baked bean recipe:

Easy Homemade Baked Beans with Bacon

Ingredients •Garlic (minced) - 1 clove
•Onion (chopped) - 1 cup
•Olive oil - 1 teaspoon
•Bacon - 6 slices
•Pinto beans - 2 cups
•Baked beans - 2 cups
•Red kidney beans - 2 cups
•Great Northern beans - 2 cups
•Garbanzo beans - 1 ½ cups
•Ketchup - ¾ cup
•Pepper - ½ teaspoon
•Worcestershire sauce - 2 tablespoons
•Yellow mustard - 1 tablespoon
•Molasses - ½ cup
•Packed brown sugar - ¼ cup

Use canned beans for this homemade baked beans recipe. Take a large deep skillet and add olive oil. Cook the bacon slices in the skillet and cook until the slices turn brown. Then, drain out the liquid and reserve 2 tablespoons in the skillet. Crumble the bacon slices and place them in a large bowl. Then, saute chopped onion and garlic in the reserved drippings of bacon in the skillet. Once the onion slices become tender, drain out the excess liquid and add it to bacon in the bowl. Then, add crumbled bacon into the onion and garlic mixture. Combine pinto beans, northern beans, baked beans, kidney beans and garbanzo beans with bacon mixture. Stir to mix the ingredients properly. Then add ketchup, brown sugar, molasses, mustard, Worcestershire sauce and black pepper to the bacon mixture. Mix all the ingredients to combine well and then transfer the mixture to a casserole dish. Cover the dish and bake the mixture in the preheated oven for an hour.


Here's an all-American hotdog idea: Kimchi buffalo hot dog

2 hot dog buns
2 buffalo hot dogs
1/4 cup finely diced kimchi, mayo, and mustard

Grill the hotdogs for a couple of minutes until they are heated through. Warm up the buns alongside the hotdogs. Smear a little may and mustard on the buns, insert the hotdog into the bun and top with diced kimchi.


2 c. cooked rice
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 c. dark chocolate (chips are fine)
1 vanilla bean
1 c. flake coconut
2 c. milk

Place all ingredients in a double boiler over simmering water. Stir occasionally. Cook until most of the liquid is absorbed and mixture is of pudding consistency. On a dry winter day Time may be 20 min or in the wet summer may take 30-40min. May add a shot of rum. Serve warm or cold.


Lettuce with Mushrooms recipe


3 cups of sliced mushrooms.
1 small leek, thinly sliced.
1 small clove garlic, finely chopped.
2 tablespoons of vegetable oil.
1 tablespoon of white wine vinegar.
½ teaspoon of salt.
½ teaspoon of dry mustard.
Pinch of pepper.
1 firm head of lettuce, about 1 lb, coarsely shredded.


In a skillet over medium heat, cook and stir the mushrooms, leek and garlic in the vegetable oil, until the mushrooms are tender.

Stir in the white wine vineger, salt, mustard and pepper.

Add the shredded lettuce.

Cover and simmer just until lettuce is wilted (about 5 minutes).

Toss, then serve immediately.


Navy Bean or Other White bean Soup

1 ham bone
4-6 strips of bacon, chopped
6 cups chicken broth
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup diced onion
1 cup diced carrot
1 cup diced celery
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 teaspoons fresh or 1 teaspoon dried parsley
2 teaspoons seasoning blend (I like spicy Mrs. Dash, but use a blend you like)
2 cans (15 ounces each) Navy beans or other white beans, drained and rinsed*
1 cup diced ham, optional
salt and pepper, to taste

Cook the bacon in the bottom of a large stock pot until it gets to the translucent stage. Add onion, garlic, and celery and sauté until the onion is translucent.

Add the chicken broth, the ham bone, and the remaining vegetables, beans, and seasonings. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for about an hour or so.

Remove ham bone and cut or pull off all meat from the bone and chop it up. Skim any fat off of the top of the soup.

I like to remove about 1 cup or so of the soup and either mash it up or put in my blender, and then add it back to the soup to thicken it a bit along with the ham. I let it simmer for perhaps 20-30 minutes more if we can wait that long.

This should serve about 8 to 10.

For a variation, I have also added other veggies to the pot such as corn, mixed veggies, or just about any leftover veggies I have in the house. One time I made it I even threw in some zucchini along with the ham.


I love green tomato relish. Here is one my ancestors made for years - and the card is very hard to read, now. (Hope I get it all right, as it is delicious!)

1 peck green tomatoes
15 medium onions
5 green peppers
5 red peppers

Chop fine and put through coarse food chopper

1 handful salt (maybe a tablespoon or two?)

Cover with boiling water boil a few minutes and drain

6 T. cornstarch
1 quart cider vinegar
3 pints sugar
1 med. bottle of French prepared mustard

Add this to vegetables, and cook until thick, stirring constantly. Use sterile jars and seal with parafin.

1 comment:

  1. Now how is kimchi less elitist than arugula?